Fucked Up, in Dream & Reality

February 23, 2014 11.37 PM

Last night I had a strange dream, quite disturbing one. Disturbing because it involved a scene of a rape between a little girl and a giant man, interestingly, the very same one who starred in Game of Thrones as Hodor.
It was brief, yet so complicated for me.
My dream begins with this little girl wearing hijab being friendly with this man. They both squat, facing each other. And she allows him to penetrate her vagina (out of pity and friendship, maybe). It happens not very long, the atmosphere just seems bleak and sorrowful. The setting is likely to be somewhere hot, near the wire gate. She cries in pain, but end then she just.....smiles, as if accepted the whole situation.

Darn, what does it's supposed to mean?
To relate my dream with my reality, I think right now I'm pretty much in a fucked up situation, a situation that I welcomed willingly, or initiated, or encouraged. The whole college thing has been such a burden to me now, yet I was the one who insisted on it the first time. Kinda ironic, isn't it?
The setting was very unfriendly, which reminds me of a dessert or somewhere in Far East in wartime (My turbulent heart?)
But what bothers me the most is that, in the end the little girl just accepts it. She smiles. Why? Because she finds a resolution at last? But that just doesn't feel right.......

I really want to know the meaning of this dream, every single piece of it. Whether it could give me the answer or at least some thought to ponder. But I don't want to share it with others. What do I do now?